Tantalus

This is totally batshit, admittedly. But still...

Disco gave us an episode named "Lethe," which dealt a lot with Admiral Cornwell, prompting fans to speculate that she might somehow become the Lethe who was a character in the TOS episode "Dagger of the Mind" -- a woman on a penal colony for the criminally insane who describes her former self, before treatment with the neural neutralizer, as malignant and hateful. Seeing Emperor Georgiou snatched by Burnham and brought along for the ride to the Prime Universe, I speculated, mostly facetiously, that she, not Cornwell, seems more likely to become Lethe. Certainly, the words malignant and hateful describe MU Georgiou pretty well.

And then something hit me -- something I somehow had never noticed in my four-plus decades as a TOS fan.

The penal colony in "Dagger of the Mind" is on Tantalus V. The Mirror Universe device used by Kirk to destroy his enemies in "Mirror Mirror" is the Tantalus Field.

Tantalus is a figure from ancient Greek mythology -- he invited the gods to a feast and cooked up the body of his own son to feed them. ("Here, have my ganglia. You deserve a treat.")  This offended the gods, causing Zeus to hang him forever above a stream for which he eternally thirsted, but of which he could never drink.

Also from ancient Greek mythology, Lethe is one of the rivers of the underworld across which the dead were ferried by Charon. Emperor Georgiou's palace-ship is the ISS Charon.

That's a whole lot of coincidence going on right there, unless it's not. Could Emperor Georgiou actually become Lethe, and somehow her Tantalus V experience find its way back to the MU in the form of Kirk's Tantalus Field?

Crazy, right?

The trouble with Lorca

Not gonna lie: The Disco writers have disappointed me.

It turns out Lorca's story was simply, "He was fooling everyone; he's evil." So all the things that didn't make sense...just don't make sense. And not just on a plot level, which I could easily forgive under the right circumstances, but on a thematic level, in a way that leaves us dissatisfied and disbelieving the internal logic of this world.

A captain destroys his own crew, ostensibly to save them from torture at the hands of the Klingons. So Starfleet claps him on the back and gives him the most important command in the fleet. He goes on to run that ship in a decidedly un-Starfleet-like way, and the only person who's especially troubled by this is Cornwell. He throws her to the Klingons and gets away with it easily. He dupes his own crew handily, threat ganglia notwithstanding.

All the while, the story is peppered with signs that none of this is as simple as it seems; things that make us think that all this is about a leader in a time of war making tough decisions and sacrifices in order to achieve the larger goal; a man tormented by something (PTSD?) but trying to power through. How else could they expect to keep the audience on the hook? They have to make us feel that there's a reason this character is getting away with it; that there's some internal thematic logic playing out, and there will be redemption in the end.

I had assumed we were in Search for Spock territory: Kirk disobeys the rules because of his internal moral compass that places loyalty and friendship even above duty. He risks everything to save Spock. It made so much sense to me to think that the crew of the Buran was alive in the MU, and Lorca, Kirk-like, was going after them. Better yet, in The Undiscovered Country, Kirk is chastened; he must confront his own failings and prejudices; he hasn't always been right. That same kind of story arc would have made sense of Lorca's story; you'd still have had to squint to accept Starfleet's lack of concern about his actions and the Discovery crew's credulousness, but at least you'd have a sense of thematic logic that justifies all that squinting.

[EDITING TO ADD: Then there's that memorable Spock quote from the end of "Mirror Mirror": "It was far easier for you as civilized men to behave like barbarians than it was for them as barbarians to behave like civilized men." That should have counted for something; Lorca should have been able to pull off the charade only because there was something more to the story.]

But...no. Lorca is simply a very sneaky villain; Starfleet and his own crew just look foolish. Hence my disappointment. It feels like the writers crafted an interesting, complicated character on a meaningful arc, and then just tore his page out and threw it away unfinished. It's a shame. While I'm still interested in the rest of the characters, the spark is a little dimmer. Next season they're going to face an uphill battle getting me to re-invest in them. Burnham, Tilly, Saru, and Stamets all seem worth the effort, but despite Lorca, not because of him.

And then there's Emperor Georgiou. If she's the one who gets the redemption arc, I'll be dumbfounded, because she's a known genocidal psychopath who eats sentient beings. Hey, maybe she, and not Cornwell, turns out to be the Lethe of "Dagger of the Mind." Now THAT would be a neat twist. It certainly fits that, in the Prime Universe, Georgiou would wind up in a facility for the criminally insane, mind-wiped, describing the person she once was as malignant and hateful. But it sure seems like Burnham should have just left her to die in the Mirror Universe.

Aside: There's a certain glee in evidence on social media from those who've decided that Lorca "stans" have just been mindlessly fan-girling the white man and have now gotten their come-uppance. But the writers worked hard to misdirect the audience about this character, so you really can't blame the audience for being misdirected.

Last thing: That speck that fell on Tilly’s shoulder? Either Culber, who was last seen wandering the mycelial network, or Lorca, who was last seen disappearing into the heart of the mycelial engine. Or Tilly hears a Who. Or something else. With my track record, I wouldn't put much faith in me.

Fate vs free will; this must be Star Trek

Three more Disco episodes to wrap up Lorca's arc. I've already predicted that Discovery is returning to the prime universe with rescued prime Lorca and some or all of the crew of the Buran (who, I'm starting to suspect, may comprise some of MU Lorca's rebel followers). Whether or not that's correct, I feel sure that the Lorca we've been watching throughout this season will either die or be left behind in the MU. But here's one more prediction: The theme of the season is redemption, and there will be some for Lorca.

"I'm responsible for forging my own path. We all are."

That's Burnham, coming down on the side of free will, from the trailer for "What's Past Is Prologue." Clearly, that's her response to Lorca's harping on fate and destiny. I've already said that, in the Burnham/Lorca relationship, we see the pupil becoming the master. I think MU Lorca will have learned something from his PU experience and defy his "destiny" in order to help the Discovery get home.

I predict that the moral of the story will be, don't be too quick to hand out the black hats and the white hats, or at least keep some gray ones on hand.

However one feels about Lorca's arc this season (and I'm deeply ambivalent), Jason Isaacs deserves an enormous amount of credit for keeping us guessing. He makes it abundantly clear that something is very off about this character, but he also never lets us give up on  him. An impressive performance.

Vaulting Ambition, Vanishing Optimism

Before I get into the Lorca stuff: I keep meaning to write something long and profound about how Disco has lulled us into identifying with the Federation and its values of justice and equality, and then pulled a gigantic switcharoo, forcing us to wonder if we are in fact more Terran than Federation, which also forces us to wonder whether our enemy is more Prime Universe Klingon or Mirror Universe rebels. Insert all the appropriate parallels (America/Western democracy/multiculturalism or imperialism/Trumpism/fascism? Radical Islamic fundamentalism/brutal warmongers/xenophobes or spiritually motivated anti-colonial freedom fighters?) So I'll just leave that there and move on.

Me being Team Lorca ‘n all, there’s a lot about his story that looks like it’s not going my way, unless there’s a further big reveal about how he’s not as bad as all that (and I do hold out some hope on that score, given that the bad report comes from Emperor Evil herself. Though that whole Ava thing didn’t sound good at all...sigh...).  As I said elsewhere:

I hate it when they pull the “We made you love this character just to freak you out when we reveal he’s evil” trick. I mean yes, obviously there were lots of warnings. But I figured there were too many for the truth to be quite so simple. Of course, at this point we only have Mirror Georgiou’s word for it, and she’s hardly an entirely reliable reporter. (This is suddenly and weirdly taking on a Woody Allen/Mia Farrow vibe, a situation I try never to think about because everyone is so fucked up.) Further twists are possible, and I’m hoping for one that shades Lorca with more complex motives. But it seems more likely that, if we’re to get anything positive about Lorca at this point, it’ll be the rescue of Prime Universe Lorca, which I’m pretty meh about. I’m feeling…deflated.

But at least there's this: I called the MU Lorca/Burnham connection -- specifically, that he, not Sarek, was her father figure in the MU -- way back in October, after Lethe (which was when the evidence for MU Lorca became too compelling to dismiss -- especially when he chose not to rescue Cornwell). That one was all mine. I didn’t see it anywhere else. So yay me. Here’s what I said then:

“And then I saw this interview in which Jason Isaacs says: 

‘The relationships get richer and deeper, and there are surprises, there are turns, there are secret agendas and reveals, and that’s my roundabout way of saying, I can’t tell you about my relationship with Michael, other than she seems to mean quite a lot to me, maybe more than is apparent when we first come across her.’ 

“So…. 

“We know that Lorca has gone to great lengths to waylay Burnham, bring her to Discovery, and get her on his crew. The only explanation for this so far has been that he sees her as potentially useful. But if Lorca is from the mirror universe, then it would make a whole lot of sense that he already knows Burnham, and she is already very important to him. Or at least, mirror Burnham is. That’s why he found her and brought her to Discovery, and that’s why he indulged her desire to find Sarek. We know from Enterprise that, in the mirror universe, humans have subjugated Vulcans, so maybe there, it’s not Sarek who is her adoptive father – it’s Lorca, and he would do anything for her. If he plans on staying here, maybe he hopes he can cultivate Burnham as an ally – one to whom he might eventually reveal his true history, even?”

Given the nature of the relationship we’ve seen between Lorca and Burnham up until now, I wonder if MU Georgiou’s claim about him “grooming” Michael and having a sexual relationship with her is overstated, the product of Georgiou’s jealousy? Maybe it was really paternal? Of course, this could be me clutching at straws, because the whole hero-turns-out-to-be-secret-villain thing is a bulletproof squick of mine, especially if you throw sexual predator into the mix, and I will not concede this point until there are no more outs.

That said, I’m calling this now: Discovery is returning with Prime Lorca and some or all of the crew of the Buran.

Other miscellaneous things:

• I always thought it was "vaunting ambition," not "vaulting ambition." Apparently both are used, but the quote from Macbeth is "vaulting." 
• "Here, have my ganglia" is the new "REDRUM."
• So we know that Tyler is physically Voq transformed, but now his mind is all Tyler -- so he's going to have to live the rest of his life in a body that isn't his? That's disturbing.
• I can't imagine Culber isn't returning to the land of the living. Kudos to those who caught the name of MU Stamets' ship, Charon, the ferryman of Hades who carries souls of the newly deceased across the rivers Styx and Acheron. I didn't.

You do what you must

This piece covers a lot of ground on the mirror-Lorca theory quite well -- and I really hope it's wrong. Because if we've been watching mirror Lorca, and the other Lorca is dead, then I can’t see how any Lorca will be on Discovery in season 2. Even if mirror Lorca were to survive, the series is going to move on from the Klingon war and this particular story line, and there won’t be a place in it for him. And I really want to keep him. More than just keep him -- I want to be right about him. I’ve gotten really invested in the idea that he is not a bad guy; that all the bad-guy signals are misdirection; that there’s some greater good in play; that he's complicated, not evil. And I hate being wrong.

But obviously, Lorca has known about the mirror universe all along and has some reason for bringing Burnham and Discovery there. So I concocted a theory about a mission to rescue the Buran crew (more on that here). I'm trying not to think about the fact that I have a history of overthinking; of seeing misdirection when there's just plain old direction; of looking for a redemption arc where there isn't going to be one (hello, Tenth Doctor).

But I take heart from these lines: “From now on, we're Terrans. Decency is weakness, will get us killed. And the lives of everyone on this ship and in the Federation are at stake. So you do what you must. Whatever you must. To anyone. Understand?” He says it like he means it -- like a guy who’s had a lot of experience repressing his natural decency for the sake of the greater good. And sure enough, the next thing we know, Burnham has knifed her former friend’s doppleganger, then two seconds later stepped out of the lift, put on her game face, and hailed the Empire. If she can do it and still be the hero underneath, so can he. Right?

DS9 shines a light on the Shithole

On this Shithole morning, when we are so painfully reminded of the racist culture of which we are a part, I find myself watching DS9 "Far Beyond the Stars." It just happens to be up next in my rewatch. And it absolutely guts me. Somehow, I'd basically forgotten this episode entirely, and it's like watching it for the first time. I'm not even going to describe it, because maybe someone reading this, like me, has forgotten it -- or maybe they never saw it at all -- and it's out there, waiting to be discovered or rediscovered.

If you love Star Trek because of the possibilities it unfolds, or if you just believe that telling a story can be a powerful act of illuminating the present and imagining the future, take an hour out of your day and watch "Far Beyond the Stars."

Lorca, Lorca, in the booth, what you up to? Tell the truth.

After "Despite Yourself" (SPOILERS AHEAD), it's more obvious than ever that Lorca has brought Discovery to the mirror universe intentionally, and that he has an agenda there. We learn that mirror-Lorca (who may or may not be the Lorca we've been watching all along) has been on the run after mounting a coup against the mysterious emperor (who people seem to feel might be Philippa Georgiou, and I guess that makes a certain amount of sense). Obviously, he's known all along that he needs Burnham to accomplish whatever he's trying to accomplish, because he's gone out of his way to get her on his ship and make sure she doesn't get herself killed.  He needs something that only Burnham can get, that much is clear. Presumably, he knows that mirror Burnham is dead, so he has to bring this Michael back with him. (ETA: Come to think of it, there's no reason to assume this, only that he knows mirror Burnham wouldn't get him what he wants, but this one will.) What exactly he needs from her, I don't know.

And what is he trying to accomplish, exactly? Could he be an agent of the anti-Terran rebels planning to use Discovery to overthrow the empire? Was that the nature of mirror Lorca's coup, and he's out to finish the job? If so, he won't succeed, because we know the empire will still be there when Kirk & co. arrive a decade or so later. Or does he simply want to seize power for himself? Maybe, but I don't think so (I'll get to my reasons in a minute).

I think it's far more likely that he has a smaller, more specific agenda, and, as I've been saying for ages, it has to do with the Buran. As I pointed out previously, when Burnham brings up the mirror-Buran, Lorca jumps at the chance to ask if the crew is alive, and he seems genuinely not to know. Whether the Lorca we've been watching originated in the mirror universe or ours, it seems clear that whatever happened to the Buran is the driving force behind everything he does. It's the only thing we know about him, really.

From "Choose Your Pain," he says of the Buran crew's fate: "Degradation. Torture. Slow, public death. It's the Klingon way to spread terror. Not my crew. Not on my watch." (Was he really talking about the Klingons there? Or the Terran Empire? Noteworthy similarity.)  And there's this: "Tyler: Your eyes. That happened when you destroyed the Buran, didn't it? Lorca: We choose our own pain. Mine helps me remember." There's a sincerity and a depth to this part of Lorca's story that is missing from every other aspect of him. I feel it has to be the key.

Whether this is a rescue mission and the crew is not actually dead (my preferred theory), or this is simply an attempt to avenge them, or he's after something else related to his crew's fate, I feel sure this is about the Buran. That's why I don't think we're watching mirror-Lorca just making a power grab. Everything about this guy's motives feels personal; his loyalty to his crew feels utterly sincere. I have drunk that Kool Aid. I'm buying it. It's why, no matter how devious he is and how much he manipulates events, you can't quite despise him. Leastwise, I can't. I just can't shake the feeling that, whatever it is he wants, it's not for himself. And if I prove to be wrong -- well, boy howdy, will I be disappointed.

The burning question is, which Lorca is this? Have we been watching mirror Lorca all along, and if so, will Discovery return to its own universe with him, with his doppleganger, or with no Lorca at all?

I just can't shake the feeling that this is not mirror Lorca. I know there are lots of sign pointing to yes, but I have a gut feeling that it's intentional misdirection. As Spock said in "Mirror Mirror": "It was far easier for you as civilized men to behave like barbarians, than it was for them as barbarians to behave like civilized men." Could a mirror-universe barbarian pull this off in command of the most important ship of the fleet through an entire war? Doesn't seem likely. And there's something else. If there's one thing we learn in "Despite Yourself," it's that Terrans don't apologize. But what's the first thing Lorca says when startled awake by Cornwell in "Lethe?" "I'm sorry. I'm not used to having anyone in my bed." Maybe mirror Lorca is so good at playing the part that, even in an unguarded moment, he thinks to apologize, but again, doesn't seem likely. So much about Lorca just doesn't fit the Terran mold, especially if I'm right about the authenticity of his feelings about the Buran. Because another thing we know with certainty about mirror Terrans, other than that they don't apologize, is that they are treacherous, self-serving back-stabbers, and they don't make captain by being fiercely loyal and self-sacrificing. They're not the types to voluntarily step into an agony booth so that others may live. So either this Lorca is a freakishly deviant mirror-universe native -- or he isn't, and there's some other explanation for the scars, the deceit, and Cornwell's conviction that he's not himself.

One last point. Tyler and Lorca's stories of subterfuge are set up in parallel. One of them is such a nice, sensitive guy that he earns Michael Burnham's affection. The other is such a sneaky bastard that he alienates Kat Cornwell's. I'm guessing that, by the end, we'll be meant to see some irony there.

Random thoughts and speculation: Despite Yourself

Before I get into my usual bananas-cuckoo speculation, a few things (SPOILERS AHEAD):

1. All hail Captain Tilly!

2. What have you done to Rickie, you bastards?!?! (Is this the end for the Dynamic Duo? Tune in next time…Same bat time, same bat channel…)

3. Lorca in the agony booth: If you didn’t believe he was working for some greater good before, that should change your mind, because it takes some serious commitment to something to volunteer for that duty.

4. This isn’t going to end well for Tyler, is it? Poor Burnham.

5. Am I the only one who caught the reference to Organia? Lorca: “What happened, here? I don’t remember reports of battles anywhere near Organia.” So apparently Starbase 46, to which they had intended to jump, is near the future birthplace of the Organian Peace Treaty. Significant plot point, or just a passing nod to canon?

Now that that's out of the way, let's look a this snippet of dialogue:

Burnham: I was the captain of the Shenzhou, and you had the Buran here, too, Sir.
Lorca: My crew? Are they alive?
Burnham: No.
Lorca: Well, there’s me hoping hoping I’d find a better version of myself over here.

If that doesn’t support my theory that Lorca brought the Discovery to the mirror universe to rescue the crew of the Buran, I don’t know what does. A better version of himself – i.e., one who didn’t get his crew killed, the way this Lorca got the mirror-universe Buran crew killed in his own universe. 

We learn that this Discovery probably got switched with its mirror twin, which suggests that the same thing could have happened with the Buran. If my theory is correct, Lorca, having figured it out and brought Discovery to the mirror universe on a rescue mission, obviously believes the Buran crew to be alive. But if they are, why does the Klingon ship’s database say they’re not?

The secret to returning to their own universe lies in whatever the Defiant did – which involved not just universe hopping, but also time travel. Soooo…the Buran crews from both universes may be dead now – but now may not be where this story ends up, if you see what I mean. With a little time-travel magic, the Buran crews might be returned to their native universes before they die. What’s more,  they’re saying the Stamets/Culber story isn’t over yet. Given that little…incident…in sick bay, perhaps the Discovery is destined for a little time travel as well. Though, if they return to a time before the Buran is destroyed, they’ll have to do a lot over again. Hmm.

ETA: I just realized…duh…if Discovery’s return to its own universe involves time travel, that could not only solve Culber’s little neck problem and bring the Buran crew back to life, but also explain why Kirk & co. never heard of the mirror universe. The Discovery crew may return and remember nothing about it. For that matter, Ash Tyler may not remember having been Voq – or intimate with Michael Burnham. That would be one really big reset button.

Remembering My Spock

This was originally published in 2016 on another blog. I'm reposting here because this is really its proper home.
_____________________

As my social media feeds fill up with posts about Star Trek’s 50th anniversary, I find myself remembering Spock.

Not the original-series Spock. Not Leonard Nimoy. My Spock. A long time ago, when Star Trek and I were very young, I had a best friend. Her name was Rifka. I was Kirk, and she was Spock. That pretty much says it all.

Rifka and I fell in love with Star Trek when we were about 10 years old. It was the early 70s, a couple of years into Star Trek’s seemingly endless syndicated run on Channel 11 in New York. I’m pretty sure I was the one who started it, having been introduced to Star Trek by my older brother, but our passion for the show soon surpassed his. It surpassed that of everyone we knew.

The Star Trek universe was our universe, or at least, everything we wanted our universe to be: exciting, dangerous, just, beautiful, honorable. It was how we saw ourselves. Star Trek wasn’t just what we watched, it was what we did. For the next few years — long past the age either of us would have willingly admitted — Rifka and I spent most of our time together playing Star Trek. We played other things from time to time — the Hardy Boys, Lost in Space, board games — but at least 90% of our time together was spent playing Star Trek. And always, always, I was Kirk and Rifka was Spock. At school, there were others who joined our game. Scotty, Bones, Uhura, Chekov, and Sulu were divided up among whoever else wanted to play. Interestingly, the one boy in our group, Arthur, always played the alien. (There’s probably a whole dissertation to be written about that, but I’ll just leave it there.) But Rifka and I were tyrannical in our control of the lead roles. She was Spock, I was Kirk. Always.

The funny thing is, I don’t think we had any clue just how accurately those roles reflected who we actually were.  I was brash, she was measured. I was smart, she was brilliant. I was impulsive, she was thoughtful. I was the tomboy, the risk taker, the girl who wanted to beat the boys at everything. Rifka was the hard worker who mastered everything to which she set her formidable intelligence. And in the world of our Jewish day school, my faith was showy but shallow, where hers was quiet but deeply spiritual.

As we moved into adolescence, the very things that had drawn us together began to drive us apart. In high school, I wanted to reinvent myself. I thought of  myself as a rebel, a rule breaker, a free spirit (though looking back, it was all rather tame and pretentious). Rifka remained cautious and studious. We were still friends, but we were no longer inseparable, complementary, flip sides of the same coin -- Kirk and Spock. As the years went on, we spoke less and less. By the time we went to each other’s weddings, we hadn’t seen each other in years.

And then, in 2002, some three decades after Rifka and I began playing Star Trek, word reached me that she was very ill. Rifka had cancer.

The news kicked me in the gut. All the stupid stuff that had ever come between us fell away, and the realization of all the time wasted, the friendship I should have cherished but instead allowed to wither, stood stark before me. So I did what I should have done years earlier: I wrote her a letter.

Rifka was a writer, too. By then, she was a columnist for the Jewish Week. This is what she wrote in June 2002 in a piece about the Beatles, another passion we shared (later published in an anthology of her work):
“Perhaps the only silver lining to having been diagnosed with cancer several months ago is that I have reconnected in unexpected ways with people from all walks of my life, but most particularly, with old, dear, and long out-of-touch friends.

“If I may quote from a recent letter from that same best friend who introduced me to the Beatles so long ago — and with whom I have not been in touch in years: ‘For me, talking to old friends has this kind of magical power to make me real — not just me, sitting here at this moment, but the me that’s been me all along, since the very beginning of me….Whatever else we may be today, the two little girls we were then are here with us now. They never left us.’”

A little more than a year later, I saw Rifka at her father’s shiva. He was a Holocaust survivor, a businessman, and a lovely human being, but the massive turnout at his shiva was not entirely for him. For so many of us, it was an opportunity to see Rifka without having to say what was readily apparent: one last time. In a stroke of luck, when I arrived at her brother’s house, I found that our alien friend, Arthur, whom I hadn’t seen since elementary school, was there as well. The three of us sat and talked for hours. Rifka was tired but still very much herself, her wit and insight as keen as ever. Her husband and children were there as well. As the other shiva callers came and went, I lingered, soaking her in, until finally I had to go home to my own young children.

Rifka died just a few weeks later at the age of 42. The injustice of it still makes me weep bitter tears. For my Spock, there was no Genesis planet, no katra, no miraculous resurrection. She lives on only in the memories of those who loved her.

I never think of Star Trek without thinking of my Spock. And when I say never, I mean never.

Last weekend, four decades after Rifka and I went to some of the earliest Star Trek conventions together, I attended the 50th anniversary Star Trek Mission convention in New York. As I entered, I saw this banner.

I stopped to look at it awhile, and yet again, I shed tears for my Spock, who did not live long enough to see this day. I miss her. I have been, and always shall be, her friend.

The whole Trek-chilada

An old friend on Facebook asked for recommendations about consuming the whole Trek-chilada, so of course, I had Things To Say.

***Rolling up sleeves, cracking knuckles***
You knew I would jump on this, right? HERE WE GO.

It's impossible to say what you can/should skip, because it's entirely a matter of personal taste. Many people (like your friend above) hate Enterprise and will tell you not to bother. I, on the other hand, think Enterprise beats the living daylights out of TNG, which I think is much cheesier. So you are about to embark on hundreds of hours of TV viewing to decide for yourself. So my recommendation is to watch in broadcast order, which is not the internal chronological order (ENT is a TOS prequel, after all), but gives you the sense of the conceptual evolution of the franchise. In other words, broadcast order is internal-logic order. So my viewing order would be:

TOS: Cuz it's first and best, duh.

The Animated Series: OK, no one includes this, but YOU SHOULD. TAS is weird as hell. The animation quality is the lowest of the low. But the stories themselves range from dumb cartoon to surprisingly sophisticated -- so much so that you quickly come to realize why this series totally failed as a children's cartoon. Bonus: There's one episode that takes place on Vulcan that offers some interesting insight into Vulcan culture you'll get nowhere else. Extra bonus: When we were kids and TAS was first broadcast, it was on Saturday mornings, which meant I couldn't watch. So instead, I read the novelizations by Alan Dean Foster. This is actually not a bad way to tackle this part of the ST canon, because, as I said, the animation quality is terrible, and the stories have to be stripped down to the bare minimum to fit a 1/2 hour cartoon, so the novelizations are actually superior.

The TOS movies: 1 & 5 are the worst and most skippable. The rest are super-groovy-rad. Enjoy.

TNG: Oy. I will never understand the appeal for so many fans. It certainly got better as it went along (the first couple of seasons are truly painful), but I find most of the characters really hard to take, and if I never see another holodeck episode, it'll be too soon. Poor Wesley Crusher took the brunt of fan hate, but it's Troi I want to throw out an airlock. That said, there are more than a few very good episodes (spread thinly over 7 seasons!), and obviously a ton of vital world-building. Patrick Stewart and Brent Spiner are great; I like Q and the Borg (though Q gets overused and loses much of his luster). As tempted as I am to say just skip the first couple of seasons, canon is canon, and you'll be confused later if you don't know it, however painful it might have been to sit through. (I'm looking at you, "Skin of Evil.") TNG is a good choice for watching while cleaning or paying bills.

TNG movies: Now that you know my feelings about TNG, you won't be surprised to learn that I never saw any of these after the first one. This is the only ST I have not seen. Make of that what you will.

DS9: You may have heard that there was much kerfuffle about its similarity to J. Michael Straczynski's Babylon 5, and who stole what from whom. IMO DS9 clearly did rip off B5's concept, and B5 is overall better because of its more heavily serialized, planned-out story line. That said, DS9 is much better than TNG, in large part because Roddenberry wasn't involved, and his "characters aren't allowed to be in conflict with each other" rule was dropped. At the moment I'm nearly though rewatching the whole series for the first time since it aired, and it really holds up. I find that I like Sisko much better this time around. Initially, Avery Brook's weird, stilted line delivery bugged the crap out of me, but I guess you just get used to it when binging. While there are certainly quite a few weak filler episodes, overall I find the acting in this series to be much better than TNG, and it's very easy to binge. It keeps me company while cooking. Enjoy.

VOY: Such a mixed bag. They started with an interesting premise of a combined Federation and Maquis crew lost on the far side of the galaxy, then quickly abandoned everything that was interesting about it. And Janeway is my least favorite commanding officer. And, while DS9 is beginning to do more serialized storytelling, VOY is still heavily episodic, which by the late 90s already felt antiquated. A lot of people see VOY as TNG-lite. But IMO, the fact that the premise builds in a higher level of jeopardy for this series actually helps keep up a level of dramatic tension that TNG usually lacks. VOY is another good choice for multitasking viewing.

ENT: I will go to my grave defending this much-maligned series. Yes, the Rod Stewart-sounding theme song is painful (and yet it grew on me upon rewatch in ways I am ashamed to admit). Yes, they shamelessly used T'Pol in teen-titillating ways that gratuitously sexualized an inherently good character. Yes, the characterization of Jonathan Archer is somewhat inconsistent. And yet I find it overall to be a much more ripping yarn than anything told by TNG or VOY. I think the third season Xindi story arc, created in response to 9/11, is bloody good (literally). I think the story of a Vulcan woman grappling with inner demons is the most compellingly complex characterization ST gave us up to that point. I think Shran is a wonderful character. I don't want to spoil anything, but this series goes to places with character relationships that breaks the suffocating rules of drama previously aimed at a male teen demographic. Sit down and watch this. Give it a chance. It does not disappoint.

DISCO: Wheeeeeee! Away we go!